We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
