Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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