I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
