So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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