I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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