fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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