I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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