it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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