My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
