Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize