Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
