Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize
