im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A+ Viking dick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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