I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
