Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
