Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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