what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
