I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was CRYING into my vagina
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
