Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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