I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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