She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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