If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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