and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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