I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
