THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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