school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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