I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
