i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
