Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
