I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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