and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
