I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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