I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
