i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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