i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
