is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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