I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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