Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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