Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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