youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
vagina is talking i cant
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
