i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
