i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think your dad took our porno
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
