What did we do last night that was yellow?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
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we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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