do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need to calm my uterus...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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