i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
