so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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