in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
