my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
