Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
