She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
