I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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