just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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