So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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