I think my fart just growled at me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
