that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
