Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
