Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
