he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize