so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
